It Doesn't Matter
by Angel68
Summary: Inara is leaving. Zoe has an opinion. Set after the Objects in Space, but before Serenity the movie.


**Title: It Doesn't Matter  
Author: Laura - http/ http/ Characters: Mal/Inara  
Distribution: Any, just ask please?  
Rating: G  
Summary: Inara is leaving. Zoe has an opinion.  
Disclaimer: Joss is god. None of this is mine. I wish. Don't sue, I'm a poor uni student.  
Lyrics: It Doesn't Matter by Alison Krauss & Union Station  
Word Count: 952 words, including the lyrics  
Author's Note: I don't know what to do about this one. I was listening to Alison Krauss and it was a plot bunny that entered into my head. It's my first Mal/Inara fic. Actually, it's my first Firefly fic I've ever written, full stop. As it is, it's standalone. But, I have ideas in my head. Might make it part of a series. Much love to my beta, http/ Be gentle. I crave feedback.**

_It doesn't matter what I want, It doesn't matter what I need  
It doesn't matter if I cry, Don't matter if I bleed  
You've been on a road, Don't know where it goes or where it leads_

_It doesn't matter what I want, It doesn't matter what I need  
If you've made up your mind to go, I won't beg you to stay  
You've been in a cage, Throw you to the wind you fly away_

_It doesn't matter what I want, It doesn't matter what I need  
It doesn't matter if I cry, Doesn't matter if I bleed  
Feel the sting of tears, Falling on this face you've loved for years  
_  
Mal's POV

She was leaving. The words echoed in his mind, like the ringing of a bell long after the bell had stopped. He stood there, slack jawed, his feet firmly planted to the metal beneath them. He wanted to follow, to go after her, to beg her to stay, but he just couldn't will himself to move. It felt like a piece of his soul had been ripped out, leaving a black hole where she had been.

Slowly, he made his way back to the lonely bunk he occupied. Along the way, he had stopped at the door to her shuttle. He even had gone so far as raising his fist to knock upon the door, but he couldn't go through with it. And entering as he used to, without her permission, just felt wrong somehow. So, he had turned, walking away, the smell of her incense seeming to follow and taunt him all the way back to his room. Lowering himself onto his bed, he sat on the edge of it, burying his face in his hands. He tried to feel something, anything, but all he could feel was the numbness, the heartache.

Inara's POV

He hadn't tried to stop her. As she walked back to her shuttle to pack, the words screamed inside of her. Stop me, you idiot. Give me a reason to stay. But he hadn't, so she began packing. She smiled as Kaylee stood there, making the video capture. She chuckled as she watched River sniffing the bed, slowly shaking her head in amusement. Then, Kaylee had asked why she was leaving. Kaylee had put the capture device down after she saw the look on Inara's face. As much as she tried to keep everything hidden, she had failed. It felt good when Kaylee hugged her, trying not to cry. It even made her laugh when River handed them a tissue while rambling on about the gentetical makeup of human tear ducts.

Now, the shuttle was quiet. Everything had been boxed up and Inara was saying goodbye. In the corner, a small black trunk sat, almost hidden. There wasn't much inside. A few scarves, some incense, and a few other odd items. Perhaps this way, he'll never forget. Oh Mal...

The knock on the door brought her out of her reverie as she turned, smiling softly. She welcomed whoever was there to walk in. Her face lit up at the prospect of Mal begging her to stay. Her smile slipped as she saw it was Zoe in front of her instead, looking stern and serious. Looking like Zoe.

"Kaylee and Wash, well, they thought... we want you to have this." Speaking softly, she walked over to Inara, her arm outstretched. In her hand was a small video capture of the crew saying their goodbyes. The screen was frozen on a picture of Kaylee and Wash. Taking it in her delicate fingers, Inara put on a brave face for Zoe, thanking her.

Zoe's lips quirked up in an almost smile, but she didn't move to leave. Her head tilted to the side and she regarded Inara, as if wanting to say something, but she didn't. This confused Inara greatly. Zoe was never one to mince her words, let alone be at a loss for them.

"Cap'n is a proud man. He may not always do the 'right' thing, but he rarely does the wrong one."

Zoe walked over to the edge of the bed, sitting down upon it. Her eyes never once strayed from Inara as she spoke, conveying the importance in her words with one glance.

"He takes care of what's important to him: his ship, his crew, and himself. He always says, if you want something, you gotta take it. Wash did that, took initiative with me. If he hadn't, I doubt we'd be together. When I first met him, there was something about him, I just didn't like him."

Zoe chuckled a little at this, remembering her first meeting with Wash and Mal in the cockpit. Sighing, her smile faded almost as soon as it had appeared.

"You wait for Cap'n to tell you how he feels, you'll probably be waitin' a while. He'll let you leave if he thinks it's the 'right' thing. He'll lose a little part of himself with you gone, but he won't stop you. He'll let you walk, and you'll go, because you're like him, doing what you think is right. And he'll be a gorram fool for not asking you to stay. And you'll be a gorram fool for leaving. No risk, no sacrifice, no gain."

Shaking her head sadly, Zoe rose from the bed, staring at Inara with sad eyes. Her body moved, slowly, as she turned and walked out of the shuttle. Inara sat down on the edge of the bed, not knowing what to say or do. Burying her face in her hands, she cried.


End file.
